Kabimaru 4ever or never?
by neji 4ever girl13
Summary: Ah, so it seems that Orochimaru is a cheater...Sasuke has boundary problems, Kabuto is heart broken and Ino and Neji are love gurus!OMFG WTH!Mostly humor, out of character and written when I was 10 so of course it's stupid.A guest apearence by The Sound 5!Yay!


Better Summary:Orichimaru (A.K.A Oreo)accidently gets caught by Kabuto making out with Sasuke, and the poor guy leaves the creapy (but compelling, you have to admit ...) sannin!Turns out Sasuke is to blame! Can Ino master relationship fixer and Neji somehow help Orichimaru regain Kabuto's love and trust?!

A/N: I don't own Naruto or Maximum Ride, or Romeo and Juliet(DUH.),and this is only because I think Orichimaru and Kabuto make a cute couple!( ,DUH!)Well Kabuto is cute, Orochimaru is just plain SEXY.(*Massive nosebleed,glomps Orochimaru to death*)Yes.I think he's you do not have to be on crack to think he the worst idea I've ever had.

P.s: everone is AOOC .( amazingly out of character.)And also, don't read if you love 've been warned.(Nah, read it any way!)And in actuality,Orochimaru doesn't have feelings for anyone,or is romanticly involved with anyone,and he's definatly not gay or a pedophile!(if you can find ABSOLUTLY UNDENIABLY REAL proof,then maybe I'll consider the theory! T_T )Also ignore the stupid no offense to Taylor Swift.

Kabuto was walking through the forest for no particular reason when he heard a lovely sound,a sound he knew by heart: the sound of Oreo moaning!

Oh, how such eroticness rose deep within him!But then he rembered Oreo only did that when they... you why would he...

''Sasuke!This is wrong,and you know it!" Oreo moaned from deep mental exahstion and tried to pull away from the cokatoo headed teen.

Kabuto hid behind a tree. And saw something that scarred him for the rest of this tried to pull a way from Sasuke but the teen managed to pull him closer .And the stared at each other,as if the silence around them said it all... and 2 seconds later HIS OREO was in the middle of the forest with SASUKE... (god you get the picture!Oh, for the love of Gohan,I think my brain just died!) ,tounge,lips,sighs... the full monty.

''It may be wrong but doesn't it feel so right?'' Sasuuke giggled and purposly tangled his fingers in Orochimaru's hair

Kabuto slumped down behind the was a cheating bastard!Of all the sucky stuff why'd this have to happen to him?He loved Orochimaru,and he thought he loved him,but it looked like that feeling was never shared!Kabuto ccould feel heartbreak coming over his shocked mind,and that feeling stabbed him in the should've known love was a pitiful lie!How could he let himself become such a fool and a LOVER to such a such a disgrace?!Orochimaru...THAT BASTARD!

Then he relized he didn't have to take this!He ran from behind the tree and screamed "OROCHIMARU YOU HUGE ASS! WHY DID I EVER LOVE YOU?!"

Orochimaru, greatly suprised managed to tear himself away from the offending Uchiha." Kabi-Wasabi I can explain-"

'' CALL ME KABUCAT CHEATING LIE!''

SL AP!

''OW!''Oreo rubbed his cheek."That actualy hurt!''

"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO HURT! OROCHIMARU WE ARE SOOOOOOOOOOO DONE!''Kabuto cried He ran away.

''YAY!NOW YOUR ALL MINE!''Sasuke whooped, a stupid, love struck expression on his face. He grabbed Orochimaru's arm and tried to pull him closer.

''Get away from me!Sasuke, I told you I'm not intrested!''the S.S.S.S (slightly sadistic sexy sannin) stared at the empty spot where Kabuto saw the horrible ordeal.''Sasuke this is all your fault! I have to go after him!KABUCAT COME BACK!'' he shrieked and ran after his (probably under aged...)lover.

"Oreo, don't leeeave me!" Sasuke (also known as Captain Captain Ducky.)trailed after him.''COME BACK BABY YOU KNOW YOU ENJOYED IT!''

''MAYBE I DID AND MAYBE I DIDN'T BUT IT WAS STILL WRONG AND WIERD!"

''OH YOUR ONE TO TALK ABOUT WHAT'S WIERD!''

MEANWHILE...

''Do it.''

''No Ino.''

"Aw c'mon just one more time!Just sing it again, PLEEEEEEEEEEASE?!" the blonde begged of her bffae(best friend forever and ever),Neji Hyuga.

"No!Never again! I refuse to sing ever again!"

''Your no fun any more"

The two teens were also walking in the forest for no particular reason when they heard the sobbing of the adorable teddy-bear like boy,Kabuto, who was hiding behind a tree so Orochimaru wouldn't find him.

Neji heard him first and walked behind the tree "Kabuto?What are you doing here?And why are you crying?'' (*Inner Neji: WHY IS HE SO FRICKIN' CUTE WHEN HE CRIES?!*)

''Hmm?Oh hi Ino I'm just... nothing" he sighed forlornly.

''KABUTOOOOOOOOOOOO WHERE ARE YOU!?I'M SORRY OK?! BUT IT WASN'T MY FAULT!"

"Crap I have to get out of here!If you guys meet Ore-OROCHIMARU tell him I never wanna see him again,and that HE'S A LYING CHEATING SICK AND TWISTED AND WORTHLESS BASTARD WHO SHOULD NEVER LOOK IN MY DIRECTION!''Kabuto sobbed and ran away.

''Well...that was wierd.''Neji observed.

"I always knew they were romanticly involved...'' said Ino.

(*Inner Neji:DAMMIT!HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE!THERE GOES MY SPRING BREAK PLANS!STUPID OROCHIMARU AND HIS DARK BEAUTY!*)''Wait... do you think this is about Sasuke?"

''Honestly I could care is a-uh...nah,I can't say it out loud. This has to stay T not M''

''What does?"

"The fanfict-oh,nevermind.''

"Never mind what?"(*insert sexy puppy dog eyes by Neji*)

''Well, we're in a fanfiction that the (super cool) arthor,Neji 4ever girl13, came up with that involves the steryotypical thought that Kabuto and Orochimaru are romanticly involved."

''Do you mean our every movement is controled by Ms.N4g right now?!''

"Yes sir!''

"Remarkable!''

''Hey,do you hear footsteps?"

" 's probably Orochimaru and we stop him?"(*Inner Neji:THAT BASTARD!HOW DARE HE BREAK MY KABUKITTY'S HEART?!I'LL CHOKE HIM TO DEATH FOR THIS!*)

''Enh.I belive Sasuke's already trying to do that."Ino smirked and pointed behind was being chased in circles by Sasuke.

Oreo managed to escape and was going after Kabuto when he fell couldn't tell if he had been tripped or tackled.

"I GOT YOU MY OREOS!''

,definatly tackled.

''Getoffameh getoffameh!'' Orochimaru mumbled as his face was pushed into the that Sasuke!Why'd he have be so persistant?!

''Never my luv! I DESERVE YOU AND NO ONE ELSE!KABUTO CAN SUCK IT!''Sasuke yelled and hugged him within an inch of his life.

''Uh...is it just me or is this getting wierd?''Ino asked

''Your just now relizing this was wierd?"Neji shook his head and felt sorry for Lord Oreos.

"Sasuke let go of me I have to find Kabu-Cat!''Orochimaru was basicly begging right now.''C'mon,please?.''The snake dude struggled to escape the seriously emotionly unhinged Captain Duck-ass.

''Alright it's time to backoff!''Neji tore Sasuke away from Orochimaru who yelled ''THANK YOU!'' and quickly escaped.

''C'mon Neji I want to see how this turns out!''Ino yelled and went after threw Sasuke aside and followed his best friend as they ran through the muddy forest of love(WHICH ALSO BURNED WITH THE FLAME OF YOUTH!),while Sasuke died alone.

''Kabuto?KABUCAT WHERE ARE YOU?!''Orochimaru shouted as he searched for his lost love.

Ino looked too while Neji stood in the clearing with the wierdos and scowled.(*Inner Neji: OROCHIMARU RIPPED OFF MY NICKNAME FOR KABUTO! I'LL KICK HIS ASS FOR THIS!*)

'' he already went home...crap! I need to get back before Tayuya teases him to tears!''

''Well...you already made him cry!''Ino pointed out.

''I'm... I don't know what happened it was all a misunderstanding! I love him I didn't wanna make him cry!''Orochimaru pouted.

''Well,if your leaving I'm coming too!''

''You should let her." said Neji.''Ino is a master relationship fixer.''

''Well...do you promise not to tell any one about our hideout if I do?"

Ino and Neji smiled. "We swear on the flame of youth!''(Wow that's pretty deep...)

''Well OK then! TO KABUCAT!"Oreo lead the teens to the hide out.

(*Inner Neji:KABUKITTY I'M COMING!LOVE RESCUE,DUN NUN DUN NUN!WE'RE ON A,MISS-ON TO RESCUE SOME LOVE! THIS IS A, LOVE LOVE LOVE RESCUE MISSOOOOOOOON!OH YEAH!LOVE RESCUE MISSON WOOOOOOO!*)

Inside Orochimaru,the Sound 5 and Kabuto's super secret,super serious hide out of awesomeness and quietness:

''WE GOT THE FUNK UHHUH UHHUH , CAN'T STOP THAT FUNK!OH WE GOT THE FUNK UHHUH UHHUH, CAN'T STOP OUR FUNK BABY! YEAH-YUH!''Kidomaru and Jirobo ran through the hide out singing as loud as they could as Tayuya ran after them.

''YOU BASTARDS YOU SPILLED MY FAVORITE PERFUM I'M GONNA KILL YOU!''She shrieked

''Try all you want you crazy funky bitch but you'll never catch us!''the two yelled back.

''WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT THE FRICKIN' HELL UP?!''Kimimaro yelled and the three stopped near Kabuto's door.

''What's that noise?"Jirobo pressed his ear to the door.''Hey guys,Kabuto's cryin'!What do you think is wrong with him?''he whispered.

''He muttered something about Lord Orochimaru being a bastard and a cheating frog when he came in.''Kimimaro mumbled.

''Are you saying what I think your saying?''Tayuya asked quietly.

"OMFG!Lord Oreos cheated!DAMN this is priceless!"Kidomaru laughed his butt off.

Sakon and Ukon snuck up behind and kicked him. ''Fuck off or show some respect man,this is serious!'' they hissed.

''Oh my god!He's playing a Taylor Swift Song now!"Jirobo reported.

Everyone backed away from the room.

''Kimimaro!''

Everyone jumped as high as the rock cieling wood allow at the sound of Orochimaru's voice.

''Yes my lord?"Kimimaro asked while Kidomaru glared at Neji,and Tayuya resisted the urge to bitch slap Ino to death.

''Is Kabuto in there?''

''Yes my lord.'' Kimimaro skillfully resisisted the urge to glomp Lord Orochimaru to death or some other way of affection...

''Good.''Orochimaru stepped towards the room.

''Er- Lord Orochimaru?The door is locked''said Sakon and Ukon.

'' -is that Taylor Swift?Oh no it is! Ino please help me fix this before it gets any worse!''

"I'm on it.'' Ino knocked on the door "Kabuto?Are you OK?Please talk to me!"Ino said as The Sound 5,Neji and Orochimaru waited for an answer from the distraught teenager.

''(SNIFF)NO I'M NOT OK!And I refuse to come out if that bastard is out there''he added quietly.

''He's not!''Neji lied.

''Lord Orochimaru,get behind me!''Jirobo instructed as the door opened slightly.

Oreo hid behind the the large man and looked under his armpit to witness the specticle.

Kabuto peeked out the door.''Hello friends.'' he whimpered.

Ino pulled him out of his room and hugged him.

''Oh you poor thing! ''Neji kind of sucked being the backup love guru but batted his eyelashes and looked adorable,for emotional support And it loooked as if the kid really needed whole scandelous thing really screwed time. His hair was all messy and eyes eyes were teary and his left arm was covered in bandages.(How could something like this happen in an hour?)

He was REALLY conserned meant there was a possibility Kabuto had been cutting flashed Kimimaro a look, and the Orochimaru obbsessed teen shrugged.

(*Inner Neji:NO!I KNOW YOUR IN PAIN BABY BUT HE'S NOT WORTH THAT!I LOVE YOU KABUTO! DON'T DIE BECAUSE OF THAT BITCH OR I'LL KILL HIM WITH MY BARE HANDS!*)

''Kabuto,'' he asked,''on a scale of one through ten how emotionaly scarred would you say you are?"(*Inner Neji:please be one please be one OH GOD SAY ONE ALREADY!*)

''T-Ten!''Kabuto cried.

''Wow,"Kidomaru muttered.

Poor,poor Kabuto had no idea that his formorly sweet OrOCHIMARU could hear every word,and his heart was breaking from it!

''Oh Kabu-Cat..''Orochimaru whispered.''I'm so sorry.''

''Guys,can you give us a minute?Except you Jirobo you could learn a lot from this.''Ino real reason Jirobo had to stay was for when the whole healing the relationship thing was done and Kabuto was ready to forgive Orochimaru,but until then he needed somewhere to hide.

''The Sound 5 minus Jirobo walked off ,Kimimaro had to be dragged it was close enough.

''Kabuto,had you ever thought about what Sasuke had to do with it?"Neji asked.

''I don't really want to know what Captain Duckass had to do with this,but I guess I'll listen if I have to.''

Neji wiped the tears from his eyes,which startled Ino.

Ino decided to fix this mess before things got any more wierd than they already were."Sasuke had been uh,stalking ,Orochimaru for had no idea what to do about was afraid you'd go Maximum Ride on his horny ass,and he didn't want any one to get hurt so he went along with it,and the exact moment you found out was when he decided he couldn't take it tried hard to resist Sasuke but... you 's .Would lie to you?"Ino batted her eyelashes.

"Really?He...WHAT?!I would not have gone Maximum Ride on him!He didn't have to worry he can tell me anything!''Kabuto suddenly felt he never felt!This changed everything!''This is all true?!"

Neji nodded his head.

"OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod!I feel so dumb!Where is he I have to tell him I'm sorry!Oh dear God!I'M SO STUPID!''he cried.

Orochimaru stepped from behind Jirobo, teary-eyed and emotinal "Oh Kabuto please don't cry anymore!''

"OREO!"Kabuto jumped into Orochimaru's outstreched arms. ''Oh my God I'm so sorry!I'm sorry I didn't listen and that I slapped you and I freaked out and..."

"No I'm sorry I didn't tell you anything my love!"Orochimaru cried too.

''God it's all my fault not yours !I'm sorry oh I love you!Your my Romeo Oreo!''

''And your my Juliet KabuCat!''the two hugged each other and cried.

''Oh my Gosh this is so sweet and adorable!''Neji and Ino squeled.

(*Insert wierd but kind of sweet [not!] make out*)

''Well Neji my friend,I belive the power of my relation ship repairing instinct has fixed this mess,so I think we're good 's go.''

Neji was to busy filming the whole make out session to listen.

''NEJI!''Ino grabbed the back of his shirt and dragged the (not-so secretly) Kabuto obsessed teen out.(*Inner Neji:YES!I GOT IT ALL!VICTORY!VICTORY IS MINE MOTHER FUCKAS!*)

Jirobo left to so he could torture Kimimaro with what was happening.

And Captain Duckass-er,I mean Sasuke was never ever seen again!(YEAH YUH!)

The corny, delightful,stupid end ^_^!


End file.
